Whole Wheat Carmelitas

Carmelitas are an old standby in my family for a quick and easy bar cookie that everyone loves!

1/2 c plus butter, melted
3/4 c brown sugar
1 1/4 c whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon (plus freshly grated nutmeg to taste)
1 c oats
3/4 c chocolate chips (dark or milk will work; semi-sweet mini chips are my favorite)
1/3-1/2 c butterscotch caramel ice cream topping

Preheat oven to 350.  Mix all ingredients from butter to oats (including oats) until crumbly in texture.  Press 2/3 of the mixture into the bottom of a greased 8x8 baking pan, reserving the rest for later.  Bake in the oven for about 10 minutes, until puffed and golden.  Remove pan from oven and sprinkle on the chocolate chips, spreading evenly.  Drizzle butterscotch evenly over the

Notes: you can always add nuts if you wish.  I'm just not a fan of nuts in my baked goods.  Also, I've found that using mini chocolate chips gets a better chocolate-to-crust ratio.

Reaching My Breaking Point

Sometime in the past few months, I started referring to myself as "recovered," rather than "in recovery." I didn't know exactly why I made the switch, or how I personally distinguished between "in recovery" and recovered.  What I did know was this: I simply couldn't see myself ever going all the way down the road to my eating disorder again.  Even if I were to have slip-ups along the way, I trusted in what I'd learned so far to talk about it openly, reach out for support, and stop the downward spiral.

But even with this fluid definition of recovery, I had had enough conversations with my treatment team and support people to start believing that I'd never fall prey to to even the thoughts again.  For me, "recovered" was beginning to mean being completely done with the eating disorder and constantly at peace with my body. 

So I was pretty shocked when I found myself fully engaged in an episode of actively using eating disordered behaviors during finals week.  Afterward, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.  I was afraid to tell anyone, even my therapist.  Did it mean that I was no longer "recovered"?  Had I been fooling myself into believing I was doing better than I actually was?

Surprisingly, no.  Returning to ED symptoms was not a relapse or a failure in recovery.  It was simply a signal to me that I had reached my breaking point with stress, and it was my body's way of telling me that I was asking too much of it.  My mind-body-soul had reached the point where it was dealing with so much stress that it knew of nothing else to do but revert back to habits that used to comfort and distract me.


I have ultimately decided that the symptom episode will be no more or no less significant than I choose to make it.  And at this point, I've let it go.  I took it for the red-alert signal that it was, and I responded by adjusting my expectations of myself during that week.  I took it as a message that I needed more self-care, less self-judgment, and that I also needed to shift my expectations about how much I could accomplish.  I set my intention for the rest of finals week to frequently check in with myself and make sure that my personal needs were being met.  "Powering through" the stress simply wasn't an option.

Last week, I learned that recovery, like life, is messy.  I was reminded that no state of being lasts forever.  Mastering recovery, self-care, and learning to cope with stress in a healthy way is never really a done deal.  But in my mind, that's a good thing.  It makes life dynamic and exciting, and it gives me the chance every day to learn something new about finding that inner peace that I trust will always be available to me, as long as I'm willing to plug out of my old habits and plug into my heart.

What to Do With a half a Can of Pumpkin, part II

...or you can use a whole can, as I've discovered gives a richer pumpkin flavor to the soup.  Anyway, here's my curried pumpkin soup recipe, a new staple for me during the winter time!  If you are using the second half of a can of pumpkin, just halve the entire recipe.

Curried Pumpkin Soup

1 head of cauliflower

1 whole 15-oz can of pumpkin

1-15oz can lite coconut milk

2T olive oil

1 T red or yellow curry paste (flavor preference)

1 T fresh grated or minced ginger

1 tsp salt, more to taste

Steam the cauliflower until it is easy to break apart with a fork, and puree in blender until completely smooth (it will be a mashed-potato-like consistency).

Stir together pumpkin and coconut milk on the stove over medium heat.  Allow to come to almost a boil, stirring occasionally.  Add cauliflower and olive oil and heat again.  Add curry paste, ginger, and salt, and any other spices you think will add pizazz.  Serve or freeze until use.  It's especially delicious served on a cold winter's day with crusty rustic rolls to dip!

Chocolate Cookie Base Variation I: York Peppermint Patty Cookies

I found a fabulous recipe on Allrecipes.com for a chocolate cocoa cookie recipe that I've had fun experimenting with and finding all different ways to jazz them up.  The time of year is right for some minty chocolate goodness, so I decided to start with York Peppermint Patty cookies.

http://lifeasprayer.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/yorkpatty.jpg

Ingredients:
1 c butter, softened
1 c white sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
2 eggs
1 T vanilla extract
2 c all-purpose flour
2/3 c good-quality cocoa powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
8-10 1-inch diameter York Peppermint Pattie candies, finely diced

Recipe:
Preheat oven to 350F and grease two cookie sheets with a generous amount of cooking spray.  (The peppermint will melt in the oven and harden the cookies to the sheets if they are not greased well enough).

Cream together the butter and sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla, and beat until pale tan and fluffy.

Mix together flour, cocoa, soda, and salt, and blend into butter mixture.  Fold in York pieces.  I prefer the pieces to be quite small so that they melt right into the dough and make every bite of cookie taste minty and delicious.  :)

Bake for approximately 8-10 minutes, until puffed up and cracked on top.  Remove cookies from cookie sheet immediately to avoid sticking, and cool on cooling rack.  Then share.

What to Do With a half a Can of Pumpkin, part I

I've been trying to bake recipes with smaller yields lately, since there are only two of us at my house to finish them off at their peak. Since most recipes I find are for a 9x13 pan, I often have to convert. I decided to make pumpkin pie bars, and I started off with a couple 9x13 recipes, but then I ended up sort of inventing my own version for an 8x8 pan. They turned out delicious! This officially marks the first time I feel I can take credit for "inventing" my own recipe. If all the results end up like this, I'm going to have to do it more often!

Pumpkin Pie Bars

3/4 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/4 c sugar
1/4 tsp baking powder
6 tablespoons butter
1/2 c oats

4 oz cream cheese (I always use neufchatel)
1/3 c packed brown sugar
1 egg
  1 c pumpkin puree (about half a can)
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  For the crust , mix together sugar, flour, and baking powder, then cut in the butter (I just used my hands).  Add oats once the other ingredients are completely mixed.  Press 2/3 of this mixture into the bottom of a greased 8x8-in baking pan.  Bake for 10 minutes, or until the crust has puffed up and is slightly golden on top.

Meanwhile, whip together the cream cheese and brown sugar, then add the egg and beat until completely combined.  Add final ingredients and blend until uniform throughout.  Make sure there aren't any globs of cream cheese hanging out at the bottom of the batter.  Add more pie spice or sugar if necessary.

You can pour the batter onto the crust as soon as it's ready and the crust is out of the oven.  Then crumble the rest of the oat mixture on top of the pumpkin batter, spreading evenly over the whole pan.  Bake again for about 20-25 minutes.  I like mine a little firmer, so I baked them for 25.  Allow bars to cool completely before cutting and serving.  They go great with ice cream!

S'mores Cupcakes

I had half of a sleeve of graham cracks sitting on my counter one day, and I just up and decided I wanted to make s'mores cupcakes.  So I scoured the internet for a gelatin-free recipe that would strike my fancy, and I found it at http://annies-eats.com/2009/11/16/smores-cupcakes/.  I halved everything in the recipe, except for the frosting.  Enjoy!

S'mores Cupcakes

Ingredients:
For the graham cracker crust:
1½ cups graham cracker crumbs
¼ cup sugar
5 1/3 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
8 oz. bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped 

For the cake:
2 cups plus 2 tbsp. sugar
1¾ cups all-purpose flour
¾ cup plus 1 tbsp. cocoa powder
1½ tsp. baking powder
1½ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
½ cup vegetable oil
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water 

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350° F.  Line two cupcake pans with paper liners.  In a small mixing bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, sugar and melted butter; mix well with a fork.  Drop about 1 tablespoon of the graham cracker mixture in the bottom of each cupcake liner and press down to line the bottom.  (Note: I found the bottom of my squeeze bottle to be the perfect size to do this job neatly and quickly.)  Sprinkle a small amount of the chopped chocolate on top of the graham cracker crusts.  Bake for 5 minutes.  Remove from the oven, and maintain the oven temperature.

To make the cake batter, sift together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; mix on low speed just to combine.  In a mixing bowl, combine the eggs, milk, vegetable oil and vanilla extract; whisk together.  Add to the dry ingredients and mix on low speed for 30 seconds.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then beat on medium speed for 2 minutes.  Add the boiling water and stir just to combine (batter will be thin).

Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cupcake liners, filling each about ¾ of the way full.  Return the pans to the oven and bake about 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, rotating the pans halfway through baking.  Allow to cool in the pans 5-10 minutes, then remove and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

I created my own frosting from a thick vanilla buttercream frosting (1/2c butter, powdered sugar, and 1 tsp vanilla) and a half tub of marshmallow fluff.  I didn't have a blowtorch, but it's on my wish list after making these!

This recipe is definitely a keeper, and I'll have to make it again very soon.

Whoever put coconut in macaroons was wrong!

I've never been a fan of coconut.  I'm not sure if it's the texture, taste, or a little bit of both.  I have always steered clear of macaroons specifically because of the fact that I thought they always contained coconut.  Only last year did I discover that the original French macarons rarely, if ever, contain coconut.  They are actually an almond sandwich-cookie-type confection, and they're absolutely delicious: tenderly crisp and airy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside, with a rich and decadent chocolate or cream layer in the middle.

These were my first try at making my own macaroons, so I stayed with a recipe that is about as basic as you can get.  Still, they turned out pretty fabulous, if I do say so myself!

Limoncello Macaroons

 

1 large egg white
14 oz / 400g almond paste
1/2 cup / 2 oz / 55g confectioners' sugar, sifted, plus quite a bit more for surface and coating

1/4 teaspoon pure almond extract

1 Tablespoon freshly grated lemon zest
1 tablespoon limoncello, plus 1/4 teaspoon lemon extract or to taste (I like mine extra lemon-y and tart!)
scant 1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside. Beat the egg white, the almond paste, confectioners' sugar, and almond extract together either by hand or with an electric mixer, until creamy, about 2 minutes.

Add the zest, limoncello, and salt and beat until combined, another 30 seconds.

Coat a clean/dry surface with a generous handful of sifted confectioners' sugar then turn the dough out onto it. Shape and roll out the dough into two 3/4-inch thick logs, roughly 18 inches long. Cut each log into 24 equal pieces (see photo). Make sure each piece is entirely coated in sugar, tapping to remove excess.

Transfer to prepared baking sheets. They don't spread much so you can crowd them a bit more than you might with other cookies. Let stand for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350F / 180C degrees. Use three fingers to gently pinch each piece of dough to form an irregular pyramid shape of you like, or you can leave them pillow shaped. Another idea: cut out circular shapes with a small cookie cutter for sandwich cookies. Bake until pale golden, about 15 minutes. [I followed the recommendation of baking until deep golden, about thirty minutes, and I thought they would have tasted better with less time in the oven.] Transfer the cookies from baking sheets to wire racks, and let cool completely. These cookies keep well in an air-tight container for a few days.

Makes 4 dozen bite-sized cookies.

Source: http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/limoncello-macaroons-recipe.html

I found some Godiva liqueur in my cupboard recently, so my next idea is to try this same recipe with that instead of the lemon.  Mmmm, I salivate just thinking about it!



We served our macaroons with delicious, fresh homemade ice cream with raspberry puree from the garden.  They were absolutely perfect together!