Carmelitas are an old standby in my family for a quick and easy bar cookie that everyone loves!
1/2 c plus butter, melted
3/4 c brown sugar
1 1/4 c whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon (plus freshly grated nutmeg to taste)
1 c oats
3/4 c chocolate chips (dark or milk will work; semi-sweet mini chips are my favorite)
1/3-1/2 c butterscotch caramel ice cream topping
Preheat oven to 350. Mix all ingredients from butter to oats (including oats) until crumbly in texture. Press 2/3 of the mixture into the bottom of a greased 8x8 baking pan, reserving the rest for later. Bake in the oven for about 10 minutes, until puffed and golden. Remove pan from oven and sprinkle on the chocolate chips, spreading evenly. Drizzle butterscotch evenly over the
Notes: you can always add nuts if you wish. I'm just not a fan of nuts in my baked goods. Also, I've found that using mini chocolate chips gets a better chocolate-to-crust ratio.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Reaching My Breaking Point
Sometime in the past few months, I started referring to myself as "recovered," rather than "in recovery." I didn't know exactly why I made the switch, or how I personally distinguished between "in recovery" and recovered. What I did know was this: I simply couldn't see myself ever going all the way down the road to my eating disorder again. Even if I were to have slip-ups along the way, I trusted in what I'd learned so far to talk about it openly, reach out for support, and stop the downward spiral.
But even with this fluid definition of recovery, I had had enough conversations with my treatment team and support people to start believing that I'd never fall prey to to even the thoughts again. For me, "recovered" was beginning to mean being completely done with the eating disorder and constantly at peace with my body.
So I was pretty shocked when I found myself fully engaged in an episode of actively using eating disordered behaviors during finals week. Afterward, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I was afraid to tell anyone, even my therapist. Did it mean that I was no longer "recovered"? Had I been fooling myself into believing I was doing better than I actually was?
Surprisingly, no. Returning to ED symptoms was not a relapse or a failure in recovery. It was simply a signal to me that I had reached my breaking point with stress, and it was my body's way of telling me that I was asking too much of it. My mind-body-soul had reached the point where it was dealing with so much stress that it knew of nothing else to do but revert back to habits that used to comfort and distract me.
I have ultimately decided that the symptom episode will be no more or no less significant than I choose to make it. And at this point, I've let it go. I took it for the red-alert signal that it was, and I responded by adjusting my expectations of myself during that week. I took it as a message that I needed more self-care, less self-judgment, and that I also needed to shift my expectations about how much I could accomplish. I set my intention for the rest of finals week to frequently check in with myself and make sure that my personal needs were being met. "Powering through" the stress simply wasn't an option.
Last week, I learned that recovery, like life, is messy. I was reminded that no state of being lasts forever. Mastering recovery, self-care, and learning to cope with stress in a healthy way is never really a done deal. But in my mind, that's a good thing. It makes life dynamic and exciting, and it gives me the chance every day to learn something new about finding that inner peace that I trust will always be available to me, as long as I'm willing to plug out of my old habits and plug into my heart.
But even with this fluid definition of recovery, I had had enough conversations with my treatment team and support people to start believing that I'd never fall prey to to even the thoughts again. For me, "recovered" was beginning to mean being completely done with the eating disorder and constantly at peace with my body.
So I was pretty shocked when I found myself fully engaged in an episode of actively using eating disordered behaviors during finals week. Afterward, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I was afraid to tell anyone, even my therapist. Did it mean that I was no longer "recovered"? Had I been fooling myself into believing I was doing better than I actually was?
Surprisingly, no. Returning to ED symptoms was not a relapse or a failure in recovery. It was simply a signal to me that I had reached my breaking point with stress, and it was my body's way of telling me that I was asking too much of it. My mind-body-soul had reached the point where it was dealing with so much stress that it knew of nothing else to do but revert back to habits that used to comfort and distract me.
I have ultimately decided that the symptom episode will be no more or no less significant than I choose to make it. And at this point, I've let it go. I took it for the red-alert signal that it was, and I responded by adjusting my expectations of myself during that week. I took it as a message that I needed more self-care, less self-judgment, and that I also needed to shift my expectations about how much I could accomplish. I set my intention for the rest of finals week to frequently check in with myself and make sure that my personal needs were being met. "Powering through" the stress simply wasn't an option.
Last week, I learned that recovery, like life, is messy. I was reminded that no state of being lasts forever. Mastering recovery, self-care, and learning to cope with stress in a healthy way is never really a done deal. But in my mind, that's a good thing. It makes life dynamic and exciting, and it gives me the chance every day to learn something new about finding that inner peace that I trust will always be available to me, as long as I'm willing to plug out of my old habits and plug into my heart.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
What to Do With a half a Can of Pumpkin, part II
...or you can use a whole can, as I've discovered gives a richer pumpkin flavor to the soup. Anyway, here's my curried pumpkin soup recipe, a new staple for me during the winter time! If you are using the second half of a can of pumpkin, just halve the entire recipe.
Curried Pumpkin Soup
1 head of cauliflower
1 whole 15-oz can of pumpkin
1-15oz can lite coconut milk
2T olive oil
1 T red or yellow curry paste (flavor preference)
1 T fresh grated or minced ginger
1 tsp salt, more to taste
Steam the cauliflower until it is easy to break apart with a fork, and puree in blender until completely smooth (it will be a mashed-potato-like consistency).
Stir together pumpkin and coconut milk on the stove over medium heat. Allow to come to almost a boil, stirring occasionally. Add cauliflower and olive oil and heat again. Add curry paste, ginger, and salt, and any other spices you think will add pizazz. Serve or freeze until use. It's especially delicious served on a cold winter's day with crusty rustic rolls to dip!
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